Remembering Love
by PrincetonNurse
Summary: House is in a motorcycle crash giving Cuddy and Rachel the scare of their lives. I don't own House or any of the characters they all belong to Fox and David Shore. Takes place sometime during season 7, Bombshells never happened (obviously).
1. Chapter 1

The soft patter of rain against his helmet made him feel alive as he shifted up to the next gear. A bike ride always helped him relax and give him time to think. He got into an argument with Cuddy over her not approving his brain biopsy and he called her a 'moron' for saying no. It was oddly more difficult to argue with her at work since they started dating but slowly they were getting used to it. He felt perplexed by the fact that in a perfect world, he would fight with Cuddy at the hospital and then come home like nothing happened. His mind never fully adjusted to the fact that he could tell his girlfriend, to her face, that she 'wasn't a real doctor' at work and she would still have a hot meal waiting for him at home; but, when he told Cuddy that she was being 'insane' for getting mad at him for leaving the toilet seat up every morning he could see her eyes water briefly and she gave him the cold shoulder for the rest of the night.

_Women. _He thought as he turned the corner flowing the winding road. The rain picked up slightly due to his increased speed, causing the drumming of the drops to grow louder against his helmet. The sound was soothing, causing his anxieties to drift away with every drop that rolled off of him. The feeling did not last long, as he hit a slick patch in the road causing his bike and body to go in separate directions. He landed on the hard cement, suddenly the world went silent and black as he could feel the rain drops pick up and his heart rate slow down.

Officer Barbara Jacobs was making her way back home from the beach, disappointed her relaxing day off had to be cut short due to weather. As she rounded the corner she saw the all too familiar sight of a body. Being on the force, she has trained her peripheral vision well to spot people in danger. Her car skidded to a stop as she ran out confronting the lifeless man.

"Sir? Sir can you hear me?" She shouted as she placed a hand onto his shoulder and shook it aggressively. All she could hear was the pounding of rain as a reply. She removed his helmet, looking for any signs of life, relieved she saw his chest rise and fall and his heart rate was slow, but strong. Once it was confirmed that he was alive, she rushed back to her car and grabbed her phone to call an ambulance.

House's eyes fluttered open, "ugh." He moaned lightly as he came to.

"Sir. It's okay. You're going to be okay." Barbara soothed as House slipped back into peaceful unconsciousness.

She heard a faint ringtone coming from his front pocket of his leather jacket. She prepared herself to answer it. Giving news to victim's loved ones was always the worst part of the job, she just prayed it wasn't a child on the phone calling for their Dad. The screen simply showed "Cuddy" as the phone continued to vibrate and play out the song.

"Hello?" She said into the phone. There was a silence. Cuddy was not expecting a woman to be answering House's phone.

"Who is this?" 

"This is officer Barbara Jacobs and-"

Cuddy just rolled her eyes. House was always one to pull pranks on her, even after they started dating. A fake cop answering her phone call is one of dozens he has pulled in the past month alone, she wasn't buying it.

"Ma'am I don't know how to tell you this but um… The gentleman you tried calling has been in a motorcycle accident. He alive and okay as far as I can tell but he is struggling to stay conscious and possibly has a severe head injury. I don't know how long he has been on the road but he is…"

As the officer continued to talk to her, it just went in one ear and out the other as a deafening silence filled Cuddy's head. She realized very quickly this was not a prank, this was too far, even for him. Her cheeks suddenly felt wet, she didn't have time to process that she was crying.

"Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital." She said softly into the phone.

"Excuse me ma'am?"

"Take him to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching hospital, his name is Dr. Gregory House." Cuddy restated again, trying her best to not fall apart as she hung up the phone.

"Rachel, sweetie!" Cuddy shouted, her voice echoing through the house getting her daughter's attention, "get some shoes on and a jacket, we are going to the hospital."

Cuddy scrambled grabbing her purse, wallet, phone, keys, and packing a small backpack to keep Rachel entertained. Rachel soon emerged wearing her light up sneakers, on the wrong feet, and a Princeton Plainsboro sweatshirt that House bought her last minute as he was leaving the hospital. Cuddy reminded him over and over to buy her a gift for Valentine's Day, and he, of course, got distracted and forgot. Cuddy was annoyed, but Rachel loved it and has been wearing it practically every day. Cuddy sighed, as she knelt down and fixed her shoes.

"Why are we going to work Mama?" Rachel asked innocently. Every fiber of her being was trying desperately to not cry in front of her two-year-old daughter, giving away how serious the accident could be.

"I need to visit House honey."

"Why can't he come here?"

"He has been in an accident." She said, her voice cracking slightly.

"Howse sick?" She asked concerned. House has been living with Cuddy for a few months and Rachel has grown close to him over the time, especially after he helped her with the preschool application.

"Yes honey. House is sick." She confirmed as she picked her daughter up into her arms and headed to the car.

[H]

When the ambulance arrived, House was seated on the side of the road with his right hand on the back of his head, a small amount of blood was pooling in his palm. His mouth was open and he had a hazy look in his eyes. He seemed to be lost in his own world, as the EMT's got House onto the stretcher and into the ambulance.

"BP is 116/73, heart rate 54, respiration is 14, and temp is 37.4. Pupils equal, round and reactive." The EMT spouted off as the ambulance rushed to Princeton Plainsboro.

"What is your name buddy?"

"Uh. House."

"Got a first name House?"

"Uh. Greg."

"Good. Glad to meet you Greg."

House hated the EMT's attempt to be nice and comforting. He honestly just wanted him to shut up since he knew more than all of them combined.

"Greg-" the EMT started to say before House cut him off.

"House." House corrected, growing increasingly more annoyed.

"Sorry. House. Do you know where you are bud?"

"Ambulance."

"Good, good."

"What happened to you out there?"

"Motorcycle crash." House said as he began searching through his pockets, "where's my Vicodin?"

"Vicodin?"

"Yes!" House snapped back, "you know? Orange bottle filled with white pills, my name on it. Where is it?" He asked sarcastically.

"Sir, you didn't have any drugs on you when you were found."

House rested his head back, annoyed, trying to figure out why the hell he was out on a bike ride without his drugs.

[H]

The ambulance sirens silenced as they pulled into the emergency room drop off, wheeling House towards the entrance where Wilson was standing with his arms folded ready to lecture. House just rolled his eyes awaiting the inevitable.

"House, what were you doing?" Wilson asked as he followed the gurney to the emergency room.

"Riding my motorcycle. Do you not read patient histories?"

Wilson shook his head with annoyance as he helped House onto the bed, where he sat with his legs dangling off the end.

"How's the patient?" House asked

"Uh. Cured. That's why you went home."

"I know." House said defensively, "but if I'm forced to be in the hospital I normally have a patient." He didn't remember curing a patient before he left, but being in a crash some memory loss was to be expected.

"I need you to write me a script. Seemed to have lost mine in the crash."

"A script for what?"

"Apixaban, I'm thinking about dying my hair red."

Wilson still looked confused, his eyebrows squinting as he tried to understand what his friend wanted.

"Vicodin! What else, moron." House snapped.

Wilson just laughed, but House remained stoic.

"What the hell is so funny?" House snarled.

Suddenly Wilson's face grew concerned as he realized the gravity of the situation. "House. Do you know what year it is?"

"2008, relax. No need to do a Nero work up. EMT's already handled that I'm fine! Woah, copying my hairstyle?" House joked as he saw Chase walk into the room with the suture kit. "Where is Cameron, isn't the ER her baby?"

Chase and Wilson exchanged looks of concern.

"Chase, suture him up. I'm going to schedule a CT scan." Wilson said as he went to the nurse's station.

"NO NEED!" House yelled, to no reply. "What's with him?" House asked, but before his question could be answered Cuddy and Rachel walked into the room to find House being sewn up, but alert. Cuddy breathed a sigh of relief, she expected the worst.

"HOWSE!" Rachel yelled as she let go of her Mother's hand as she attempted to climb onto his lap.

"Woah, woah. What is this?" He asked confused, "why does this child know me? And more importantly, why do _you_ have a child with you." His face growing more disgusted with this toddler by the second

Rachel thought he was joking, she didn't understand a lot of his humor but normally when she didn't understand him it was safe to assume he was messing with her.

"Rachel honey, be careful. House is getting stitches. Let's sit on his lap later."

"Okay." Rachel said saddened as she went towards her Mom.

Cuddy was confused, probably because she did not want to consider the possibility that House does not know who Rachel is or that they are dating. Suddenly a hand pulled her away from the thoughts as Wilson escorted her out of hearing range from House.

"Oh god, Wilson, is it bad?"

"We didn't think so at first. His brain is healthy he just seems to have amnesia."

"How many years has he lost?" She asked growing more concerned.

"He believes it is 2008."

"And judging by the fact that he didn't know who Rachel was he probably thinks I just lost Joy."

They sat in the chairs by the nurse's station in silence as Rachel was coloring, not at all aware of the situation.

"I'm so sorry Cuddy. I scheduled a CT scan. We can see how serious the amnesia is."

"How the hell is he going to be home? He got rid of his apartment, I don't want to just throw him into a house living with me and Rachel."

"Cuddy. Even in 2008, he wanted to live with you." Wilson said giving a reassuring smile.

Cuddy smiled back, "has he really loved me for that long?" Her heart felt giddy as the words came out of her mouth.

Wilson just nodded as Chase emerged. "Uh, he's all stitched up and the CT scan is ready."

"Can you watch Rachel while I talk to House?"

"Of course." Chase responded as he took a seat by the little girl.

Cuddy and Wilson pulled back the curtain as they stood by House who was still seated in the same position.

"Did Julia give you one of her kids for the weekend to help with the loss?" House asked. He didn't mean it in a cold way he was just confused how Cuddy got a two-year-old overnight.

"No. House I don't know how to tell you this, so I am just going to say it. Rachel is our daughter. I adopted her a few months after we kissed. You and I are dating and you live with me, Rachel has really bonded with you and she doesn't understand what amnesia is."

House sat silently, he looked like a deer in headlights. "_Our_ daughter?" He repeated concerned

"well… Yes. Not legally speaking but yes."

"How long have we been dating?"

"About a year."

More silence filled the room as House lost himself in his thoughts. "And I'm sober, aren't I?"

Cuddy nodded.

He hated his life at this moment. He loved Cuddy but he didn't know a kid would be involved or that he couldn't use drugs. He was angry to what he woke up to. "CT ready?" He asked

"Yes." Wilson said, "I am ready to take you back whenever."

"It's whenever, lets go." House said as he practically jumped off the table, he wanted to get the hell out of that room as fast as possible. For the first time in a long time, Cuddy was the last person he wanted to see.


	2. Chapter 2

House sat on the edge of the CT scan table and began removing his shoes.

"House, don't you think, you were a little cold to Cuddy?"

"I'm sorry, I should have thought of her emotions. It's not like I woke up losing two years of my life, sober and with a kid." House angrily retorted as he took off his jeans, shirt and socks as he got into a gown.

"Yes, you did. But to Cuddy she just lost her boyfriend and Rachel lost her… best friend."

House rolled his eyes, "I don't even know Rachel."

"She doesn't know that, she's two. Stop squirming so I can start the scan."

House stuck out his tongue as he laid flat on his back and Wilson began the exam.

As the images of House's brain formed onto the monitor Wilson was filled with both relief and dread at the news.

"What do you got?" House asked as he quickly changed out of the gown and back into his jeans and t shirt.

"Well it's not bad..." Wilson started

"Okay, but..."

"From the scans it's clear your memory is okay, so nothing really explains the amnesia. Sounds to me like you could regain your memory at any moment, or..."

"Or I don't."

Wilson nodded slowly, "or you don't."

"Whelp. No use chilling at the hospital all night let's go to your place and have a boys night in."

Wilson face grew concerned slightly. "Well. I guess I'm not doing anything."

"You guess? Don't pull the guilt card with me, Cuddy is a big girl."

"Rachel isn't."

"Oh my god you and this Rachel kid!"

The room filled with silence between the two men.

"I'm not on drugs anymore. I need to know what the hell happened to me the past two years." House confessed as he kept his head down. The admission was shameful to him, he hated sharing when he needed help. But it was true and Wilson knew to not push House during one of the rare moments he was being vulnerable.

House stayed in the ER room alone packing up the few belongings he had as Wilson talked to Cuddy outside.

"I think he's going to stay with me tonight." Wilson explained

Cuddy was upset but not surprised by the news, "he wants to know how he got to here." She sighed

"He's just confused, remember to him he never hallucinated, he never went to rehab and he's never had therapy. Now he has a kid... it's a lot for him. For anyone honestly."

"Yeah, and we never had that fight about relapsing." Cuddy put her face into hands, "oh god we are going to have to go back to the awkward phase in our relationship where he was nervous about screwing everything up."

Wilson placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay, he's House. I'm sure with how his mind works he'll piece everything together by tomorrow." He smiled

"Yeah." She said but remained unconvinced.

"Come on Rachel, we are going to head home." Cuddy said outstretching her hand for Rachel to grab onto.

"What about Howse?"

"He's not coming home yet."

"I'll wait with him then." Rachel said as she went back to coloring, "can I go see him now?"

"No honey." Cuddy said could see Rachel's eyes begin to water and a tantrum was brewing. It was almost 8:00 and Rachel had a long day, it was well past her bedtime and she was growing frustrated that her mother dragged her to the hospital and she couldn't spend any time with House.

"But he lives with us!" Rachel stated growing increasingly closer to yelling.

"I know. It isn't fair." Cuddy said as she gripped her hand and threw her purse over her shoulder.

Rachel pouted and stomped her way out of the unit towards the exit with her Mom. Cuddy sighed, it was going to be a long night.

[H]

Wilson and House headed to his car and they made their way to his condo.

"Sold the old place?" House asked as he entered Wilson's home.

"Yeah." Wilson chuckled, "we actually bought this, stealing it from Cuddy and..." Wilson trailed off not knowing how in depth to go.

"What kind of pizza you want?" Wilson asked as he grabbed his phone.

"_We_ bought this place?" House asked back shocked, "what the hell happened to my apartment?"

"_I _bought it." Wilson corrected causing House to smile slightly. "Well you had an... incident with Vicodin." Wilson began explaining as he handed House a beer. "You hallucinated, bad. It freaked you out and you checked into rehab, you got clean and swore off the stuff to not go through the detox again. I bought the new place so you could live with me after you got released."

House just opened his beer and took a few big gulps as he was hearing the news. When the pizza came Wilson explained House everything, over food and drinks. The withdrawal, the therapy, the Amber hallucinations, Cuddy and Lucas and even Hannah.

House wasn't his usual self, he just sat quietly listening intently on every word Wilson said. He was trying to piece together his life in the past two years, and how it seemed to fall apart worse than before. He was however happy that his life did seem to turn around and according to Wilson he was happier than he usually was.

House was ecstatic to hear Cuddy and him were an item, but he wouldn't be lying if he wasn't annoyed he'd have to share her with a sticky-fingered toddler.

"How's my bike?" House asked after a minute of sitting in silence.

"Seriously? _That's _all you have to say?"

"Well you've explained everything else."

"Your bike is scratched but drivable. We can take it to a body shop."

"Cool. Well, all that's left to do is drink beer and eat pizza." House said as he took a big bite of another slice.

House and Wilson watched monster truck rally's and some hockey, to take their mind off of the day.

[H]

House awoke to a debilitating pain radiating from his thigh. It was so severe it went into his stomach. He has had this type of pain before, when he would sleep for too long and the Vicodin was coming out of his system. He knew it was in his head, he has been clean for a year, but that didn't stop the muscle from contracting. He instinctively reached for a pill bottle and was annoyed to see it was Advil, how in the hell did he manage to stay sober with this… thing?

He rubbed the muscle, reminding himself that his relationship with Cuddy would suffer if he slipped back into his old ways. He slowly stood, and his leg took his weight, for now. He cautiously made his way to the Livingroom and booted up his Xbox. It was 3:00 in the morning, too early to play any music and he needed something, anything, to take his mind off of this hell.

Wilson woke up, and made his way to the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He found House asleep with a controller in hand on the couch. Wilson came over and kicked the edge of the couch slightly, startling House up.

"Hey, get up sleepy head, we have to get to work soon." Wilson then looked at him closer, he looked pale, and had some sweat on his brow. "I thought you slept in your bed last night."

"Yeah I was going to, but I forgot that a game I have been waiting for has come out a year ago."

"Does your leg hurt?"

"It always hurts." He grumbled as he rubbed his face and yawned. "Can you make some macadamia nut pancakes?" He asked looking around.

"It seems to hurt more than it has before." Wilson stated concerned

"Probably because I don't have my pancakes."

Wilson gave up and went to the kitchen to cook breakfast.

[H]

As House came to work in the morning, limping heavily. As he entered the differential room, he saw a change in employees.

"Where's 13?" He asked as he threw his backpack onto a chair.

Forman put down the magazine he was reading and looked at House, "we don't know she requested a leave of absence and wanted us all to think it was for a Huntington's trial."

House nodded as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"And Kutner?"

The room went silent, Taub, Chase and Foreman exchanged looks not sure how to break the news. A lot happened in two years and Wilson neglected to mention this tid bit.

"uh. He… committed suicide around a year and a half ago." Taub explained softly

House set down the red mug and placed his hands on the counter, leaning heavily on it, lost in thought.

"Why?"

The room was silent again, "we… don't know." Chase said

"You don't know? He didn't say anything?" House was growing sick of that answer. A frustration built inside him, he always hated change and now overnight everything was different and he couldn't stand it. He spun around, now facing the team, "everyone seems to know as much as me right now! Why does no one know anything? And who the hell is this?" House said pointing his cane towards Masters.

"Martha M Masters." She said nervously.

House calmed down as he rubbed his forehead and picked up the case file. "Whatever, let's move on. 33-year-old female, presenting with temporary paralysis, high CK levels and a perfect memory."

"MRI shows no evidence of stroke or tumors so I say toxins." Taub said as he focused his attention to the file

"She's a waitress, probably botulism or alcoholism." Chase said

"Chase and Taub you get a patient history Masters and Forman search the home." House explained as he tossed the file onto the table and made his way to his desk.

"I can't." Masters explained stopping House dead in his tracks.

"There better be a good reason why." He grumbled as he spun around to look her dead in the eye

[H]

Cuddy was at her desk doing paper work when House made his grand entrance, pushing both the doors open forcefully.

"We need to talk about this new girl." He said as he stood in front of her, resting both his hands on his cane.

"Masters? She is hardly new."

"She has morals. I cannot work with her."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "House, we have had this discussion before. You can work through it."

"She doesn't lie! I can't work with someone like that!"

"I put thought into this, trust me, you'll find a way to like having her around."

House scowled, "how did I deal with her before?"

Cuddy shrugged, "you never said, but I know you found a way to."

House huffed and turned to leave but Cuddy stopped him.

"You coming over tonight?"

House stopped, he had been so preoccupied with the case and all these other changes he practically forgot he had a girlfriend.

"Rachel misses you." She said as she stood up and made her way towards him.

"Why does she like me so much?" He asked as he turned to face her.

"Because you are essentially her father."

"There is no way I am a responsible father." He argued. "Why the hell did everything in my life change so drastically? I was a single, depressed, drug addict two days ago. Now I am missing two team members, I am sober, I have a kid, and a girlfriend? What the hell happened to me?"

"Change happens." She said, "but trust me, this is for the better, come over I'll prove it to you" she smiled.

"I might have to work on the case late." He lied.

"What if your boss gave you the night off?"

House sighed, he was admitting defeat. How could he pass up spending the night with Cuddy? He hasn't remembered sleeping with her since college and it would be nice to experience her body again. "Can we just spend time with us? Without the kid? It'd be nice to not have everything thrown at me all at once." He confessed.

Cuddy nodded, "that's reasonable. But you can't hold off Rachel forever. She is nervous you don't want to play with her anymore."

"I'll see you after work."

Cuddy gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek, "can't wait." She whispered.

[H]

House interrupted Wilson's lunch, sliding into the booth in front of him and stealing a fry.

"What do Cuddy and I do together besides have sex?"

Wilson looked up from his cup of coffee, "uh, you… went go karting once."

House took another fry and started thinking. "There is no way she enjoyed that. Do we have anything in common?"

"Work." Wilson shrugged.

"Helpful." House said sarcastically, "so we've been dating for a year and have nothing in common?"

"You guys watch movies, play with Rachel, have sex…" Wilson rattled off

"Sounds like Rachel is the only thing we have in common." House interrupted

"You guys love each other."

"Do we? Sounds like she puts up with stuff I find fun and I put up with stuff she finds fun."

"House, relationships… you have to make sacrifices."

"I need to think." He said as he got up and went to his office, locking the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Cuddy entered Wilson's office with a look of concern.

"Do you think House is happy… with me?"

"Of course. Why? What did he say?" Wilson asked raising an eyebrow

Cuddy sighed, "nothing. That's the problem." She said as she sat down in front of Wilson's desk, "He seems annoyed and distant, he's acting like he hates himself for going out with me."

"That's just because of the amnesia, he doesn't really feel that way. It'll get better."

"I'm pretty sure it won't..." She said cautiously, looking behind her out the window at House's office. "I'm pregnant."

Wilson's mouth dropped to the floor, he was speechless.

"Did you… Did you tell House?"

"Of course not! He practically forgot he was dating me when he came into my office earlier today. He's coming over tonight and I don't know what to do."

"It's only a matter of time before he finds out, and believe me, he needs to hear it from you before he does."

[H]

House was throwing his ball against the wall while sitting at his desk chair, thinking about the case. His last idea of her having Long QT was disproven and he was considering other possibilities. Cuddy stood in his doorway like a shy visitor.

"Hey." She said softly catching House's attention.

"Hey."

"Ready to have our date?" She smiled awkwardly.

House's eyes shut, he completely forgot. "Uh. Yeah. What're we going to do?"

Cuddy shrugged, "maybe we play some video games together."

"You hate video games."

"How would you know? The last time you remember hanging out with me was in college."

House smiled, "fair point. Ironic considering the patient I have, she remembers everything." He said as he grabbed his blazer from behind the chair and then moved towards Cuddy, gripping her hand.

"Everything?" She asked back shocked as she clasped his hand tighter and they walked to the elevators.

House was rubbing his leg throughout the car ride home. Cuddy played the playlist he enjoyed as he stared silently out the window. She wanted him feeling as comfortable as possible. She would share with him things that went on in her day and he would occasionally nod and comment.

"Rachel is with the sitter tonight." Cuddy smiled, but House didn't really reply.

"So what do you want to do besides videogames?"

House shrugged, "whatever we normally do."

"There is no normal with us" she chucked, "that's what makes dating you so fun!"

As they pulled into the driveway Cuddy felt that the roles were reversed, she now was the one scared to lose him. How did House fall in love with her in the first place and what could she do to ensure it happened again?

"Where's the bathroom?" House asked as they entered the front door.

Cuddy pointed in the general direction. As soon as House closed the door he turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on his face trying to keep the nausea at bay. He honestly didn't think he would make it through the car ride without staining her new car green. His leg was gnawing at him, sinking it's sharp teeth of pain into his muscle. He saw his reflection in the mirror and looked pale and thin. He really didn't eat anything today except a few bites of pancakes that Wilson made. After a few deep breaths his stomach settled and the pain seemed to subside, slightly.

"I ordered Chinese." She said smiling as House came out of the bathroom.

"Is that my sweatshirt?" He asked as he pointed to the large grey hoody that was draped over her and covered half of her thighs.

She looked down sheepishly, "Yeah, I like to wear your shirts to bed." She admitted.

House just nodded as he went into the living room with Cuddy. His piano was there and so were all his video games and movies.

"So, is this where I hang out?" He asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, with Rachel usually. Biggest TV in the house."

"Yeah I figured." He said looking at the flat screen.

"So. Tell me something I don't know about you." She said as she sat on the couch inviting House to join her.

"I'm pretty sure you know more than me at this point. What's something I don't know about you?" He asked while sitting down removing the weight from his leg

Cuddy laughed slightly, cuddling into him, "Yeah I guess I have a lot to share over the course of two years. Well I was a cheerleader in high-school and college."

House rolled his eyes, "I know. That's like me revealing I rowed and played lacrosse."

Cuddy looks at him slightly shocked, "I didn't know you rowed."

He nodded awkwardly. "In high school. I had to give it up in college. Between lacrosse and med school, I didn't have time for it so I quit when I got glandular fever."

"You must have been active in your youth."

"No more than you I suppose."

"I was a life guard and a cheerleader that was about it."

"I was a cheerleader too."

Cuddy laughed, "nice try, you tried to sell me on that lie before."

House opened his mouth slightly, a little shocked she didn't believe him when the doorbell rang.

"That's the food, I'll get it." She said as she got up, jogging to the door in nothing but a pair of shorts and his sweatshirt on. House stayed on the couch, in his jeans and blue button down staring at his cane between his hands. As the smell of the food entered the house, his appetite slowly came back and he felt he could handle something good in his stomach.

"So, you never told me anything I didn't know about you." House said as Cuddy handed him his box of food

"What's your question?" She asked as she situated herself back on the couch, crossing her legs underneath her.

House shrugged, "who was your first?" He asked as he took a bite of his cashew chicken.

"Well... you were."

House practically choked, "your first time, ever, was with me?" He asked in shock

She nodded stirring her food reminiscing about their special night at Michigan, "you were the best I had." She confessed causing House to blush slightly.

House nodded and looked back as his plate. "Wow. I wish I knew at the time." He admitted, "I probably would have been gentler."

Cuddy blushed and stirred her rice around, mixing it more into the vegetables. "Who was your first?" She asked, not actually knowing the answer.

"Kimberly Cohen." He said after a moment of thinking, "she was my high school girlfriend and we were both 17. We did it in my room one night after a few months of dating."

"Wow. Your room? Bold." She joked.

He shrugged again, "my parents didn't really care as long as I was safe."

There was a silence that followed that conversation, not an awkward one, just a silence where they enjoyed their food and the company of one another. For the first time since the crash, his leg seemed to go back to baseline levels and he felt comfortable with his girlfriend.

[H]

House woke up to a grey ceiling and the scent of cinnamon vanilla, at first, he was confused as to where he was. The room was cold and the bed he was in was a sea of grey and white poufy comforters and blankets making it the definition of comfort, but to House it was unnatural. As he turned over he saw Cuddy still sleeping peacefully, and remembered all the love making they did last night. He felt safe with her, although he couldn't remember dating her, she was a person that it was okay to be himself with, to share things with, and he enjoyed last night. As he looked around he realized, this was _his_ room, _his_ house, and yet it was his first night sleeping over. His leg was screaming at him, a feeling that has only seemed to be getting worse each morning, and not even the warmth of the many sheets could calm down the nerves. He opened the bedside table drawer hoping to find his pain meds, but instead found a handmade card. If it weren't for the distinct brown line representing a cane he would not have figured out the drawing was of him. He was holding hands with, what he assumed were, Cuddy and Rachel with hearts covering the page. The inside of the card had more hearts drawn in and showed him and Rachel wearing pirate hats playing some sort of game and written to the side was, _to my favorite scallywag, love Rachel._ He honestly didn't know what to feel, he could never live up to being the person he was a week ago. He felt like he was living a lie, viewing the card suffocated him within his new life and all he wanted to do was get out. His leg hurt worse, Wilson would say it was a manifestation of his emotions or some shit, but House knew the cold was the reason behind it.

Cuddy awoke to the sound House's motorcycle being roared back to life. A part of her was nervous that he was continuing to ride that death trap after his accident but she also knew fighting him on the issue would only accomplish him getting pissed off and then riding it anyway. She stretched out her arms feeling the warm pillow of his side of the bed and reminiscing about last night. He was funny and sweet, she could tell he felt awkward but that was to be expected. She was pleased with their 'first date' and felt that he would be himself by tonight.

[H]

"House, we need to talk." Cuddy said as she pulled him away from his team, into his office. "I had fun with you last night."

"Me too."

"Are you comfortable staying over again? Rachel will be there."

"I can't my patient is-"

"House, you need to do this. It'll break her heart if you don't see her."

"Do you not realize what amnesia is? I'm not that guy, Cuddy! I don't want to do this."

"You don't want to do what?" Cuddy said nervously, her heart beat picking up. 

"THIS! I'm sick of everyone being shocked that I don't remember! To me, I haven't had a girlfriend in years, I don't even remember what having a girlfriend is like! And now overnight you expect me to be in a serious relationship _and_ parent a toddler? That's insane! To you it has been a year, but to me it has been two days."

"I know. It isn't fair." She said resting a hand on his shoulder, "I'm not asking you to spend hours with her, she knows you're busy. Just… come over at six, she'll be asleep soon after that anyway and we can have all the sex you can eat."

House sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, "fine. You're an evil cunning woman, but you know how to make a deal. I'll see you at six."

[H]

"Wilson, we need to talk!" House yelled to the closed balcony door

Wilson poked his head out of the glass door to find House sitting on the balcony wall that connects the two offices. "With a patient."

"Is she dying?"

Wilson sighed. "Excuse me." Wilson said embarrassingly to the woman in his office.

"What?"

"What the hell do you do with a two-year-old?" House asked as he fumbled with his cane

"This couldn't have waited?"

"No. Seriously what do I do with a kid."

"Watch TV." Wilson moaned back, annoyed his day had to be interrupted over something that could have been a text.

"All day?"

"House, just talk to her. She likes video games, non-violent ones, pirate shows, uh. I think you got her hooked on some alien cartoon."

"So that's it, we watch TV all day?"

"Yeah, and you play board games with her, read stories. I don't know House she's two think of things you did at that age and do them. It isn't hard, I have to get back to work."

House scrunched his face, Wilson seemed extra bitchy this morning, something was up and he was going to find out. As House was lost in his thoughts on the balcony his team arrived.

"Nadia's kidneys are failing." Taub said causing House to turn around and dismount the small wall he was resting on.

"Then the heart is back on the list of symptoms." House groaned

"Amyloidosis?" Chase said

"No, we would have seen a stiff heart on the nuclear study. But autoimmune could account for multiple organ systems and paralysis." 

"That narrows it down to only a few thousand diseases. Guillain-Barre, polymyositis…" Foreman listed off

"MS, Polyarteritia Nodosa…" Taub chimed in

"SLE" House said, "get an ANA and a chest X-ray."

With that the team filed out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the delay guys! I had a bit of trouble deciding what comes next but I hope you enjoy the new chapter none the less. I do not own House it belongs to David Shore and Fox.

House was asleep enjoying the comfort of the bed and Cuddy who enveloped him between her arms. It was a stormy night and the soothing drops of the water against the window was the perfect noise to sleep to. It was one of the rare times House was able to sleep well, between his leg and the consistent pages that go with being a doctor, he was a bit of an insomniac. Unfortunately, his peaceful rest was about to be disturbed as a sharp pain hit him in his right ribs waking House up with a jolt, and causing him to moan in discomfort. It was Rachel, who kneed and kicked his chest in her desperate effort to climb into the safety of the bed between him and Cuddy. She scrambled quickly under the covers as if to hide from the thunder that the storm was causing.

"What the hell?" House whispered, mostly to himself, confused as to how in the span of about four seconds he went from being in a peaceful slumber to being wide awake and kicked by a toddler.

Rachel was whispering softly to her mother, her head on her shoulder while House was stuck with her feet, resting dangerously close to striking his ribs again.

House turned his back to the conversation, trying his hardest to block out their sounds. Luckily, he was able to succumb to peaceful bliss once again.

Cuddy woke up for her morning yoga to find House and Rachel snoring, both oblivious to the sound of her alarm clock and the sounds of the morning. House was on his side, with his arm stretched out under Rachel's back. His mouth was slightly open and his head was back. Rachel's face was planted into House's chest, and her tiny body disappeared under the pile of covers. For the first time since House lost his memory, he was back to his normal self with Rachel. Last night did not go as well as she had hoped.

House arrived yesterday at six just like he promised, knocking on the door with his cane making the usually obnoxiously loud sound.

Cuddy opened the door with Rachel hot on her tail, "hey."

"hey." He responded nervously.

Cuddy gestured for him to come inside and he followed her in. From the moment he stepped foot into the house Rachel was talking at a mile a minute at him.

"Mom made burgers and fries for us. And milkshakes too."

"mmhm" House said as he took of his jacket

Rachel continued telling House about her day as she held his hand and walked him to the kitchen where dinner was waiting. Once they were all settled and eating their meals House became a little more comfortable but Cuddy could still tell that he was trying to be his old self.

"Are you gonna take me swimming in the ocean?" Rachel asked as she put some fries in her mouth

House looked up at Cuddy for help with the situation, not knowing what she was talking about.

Cuddy looked at Rachel, "you want House to take you swimming in the ocean when we go to the beach for spring break?" Cuddy asked.

House's eyes widened, "spring break?"

"Yes, Rachel is very excited about the trip we have been planning."

"Right." House said, still looking concerned.

"Maybe you can teach me how to do stuff."

"Like what?"

Rachel just shrugged as a reply, "I also have my captain toad puzzle game I want to play with you. I also have another puzzle game to play."

House was confused as to how quickly her mind jumped around and had trouble focusing on one conversation at a time.

After dinner, they all gathered on the couch and watched a family movie that House thought was painfully boring. Rachel crawled onto his lap with her game and showed it to House.

"see you have to make it to the star but you can't jump. It's really hard."

House looked at the game and quickly solved the puzzle, finding it ridiculously easy and boring, but Rachel was impressed by his talent. Continuously calling him "the smartest man alive."

Rachel seemed to have fun and she went to bed, but House was quiet for most of the night, he really didn't know how to act with her but Cuddy could tell he was trying.

House woke up to Rachel sitting on the edge of the bed watching TV. He ran a hand through his hair, still feeling awkward that he is supposedly best friends with this kid and knows literally nothing about her. House situated himself into a seated position, resting against the headboard.

"What are you watching?" House asked, trying to bond again.

"Same thing we watch every morning, silly!" Rachel smiled as she crawled into House's lap.

House sighed, that was helpful.

After watching a few seconds of footage, he soon learned it was Scooby Doo. He watched this show as a kid and enjoyed it too, but this version was much more in depth and had much more mysterious plot. And as the morning went on, House and Rachel continued to watch the show. Rachel was cuddled into House and both were enthralled with the program. In the middle of an important scene where Fred was discovering who his father was House's phone went off. House and Rachel both sighed, annoyed.

"Pause it." House said while he answered his phone.

"What?" House said annoyed

"Woah, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Foreman retorted

"No, I'm just busy solving another case. What's going on with our patient."

The team exchanged looks of confusion before going on.

House hung up the phone, slamming it shut. "Okay I have to go to work, where is Marina?"

Rachel shrugged and House rolled his eyes. _Great._

By the time House got dressed Marina was pulling into the driveway, much to House's relief. The last thing he wanted to do was bring Rachel to work. House seemed to be getting along well with Rachel, he still wasn't his normal self but Rachel couldn't tell.

[H]

"I need you to babysit." Cuddy said, as she entered House's office, "Marina doesn't babysit anymore because you usually do it if I have to stay late."

"Babysit?" House asked nervously. He had never been alone with Rachel for a whole night before, or at least he hasn't remembered being alone with Rachel before.

"Yeah, you'll be fine. Just give her pizza and play some video games."

"Uhhh. I don't know if that's a good idea."

"House trust me, you two are more alike than you'll ever know. You'll have fun."

Cuddy could see the panic in his eyes, she approached his desk, giving him some cleavage to look at. "I will make it worth your while." She said as she kissed him on the lips.

House smiled slightly and nodded, "okay" he whispered.

House sighed once he watched Cuddy walk out of the room. He really didn't know how to feel about this, so he did what he normally did when he needed help.

"WILSON!" He shouted outside his office door

Wilson reluctantly opened it. "House for god sakes I have a headache."

"Cuddy wants me to watch Rachel tonight."

"So?"

"Unsupervised."

Wilson sighed, "you've done that before."

"Yeah but this time I have to give her a bath _and_ dinner."

"Is there any other reason you came to bother me? Maybe something _actually_ important?" Wilson asked as he put his head in his palms, walking back towards the desk.

"Oh yeah almost forgot. What is with you? You've been extra crabby, are you getting your period?"

"Oh for god's sake"

"So I did some digging... in your car. Do you have diabetes?"

"I don't have diabetes."

"Then who does? Found the stash in your car."

"Sarah. My cat." Wilson said as he threw his hands up defeated.

"Why the hell do you have a cat?"

Wilson sighed, "because my girlfriend dumped me."

House's eyes widened, "you had a girlfriend?"

"Yes. My ex wife Sam."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it happened recently and I didn't want to go into it. Besides it wasn't important to your life and I knew you'd overreact to this information."

"You shouldn't get a cat if you're upset that your girlfriend left you then _no_ woman will date you."

Wilson pointed his hands towards House, "exactly my point of you overreacting."

House just nodded. "And the grumpiness?"

"I'm just tired from lack of sleep from taking care of Sarah."

"So… we good?"

Wilson nodded, "yeah. We're good."

House turned to leave but Wilson stopped him, "You'll be okay you know. Rachel loves you and in her eyes, you can do no wrong."

"Allegedly, she hasn't met the old me apparently." He muttered as he left the room.

[H]

House came over at around four, relieving Marina from her long day at work, and began babysitting.

"Howse!" Rachel screamed as she slammed into his shins.

"Rachel." House groaned as he tried to remain stoic, "always a pleasure being greeted like this." He said sarcastically.

Rachel smiled up at him with her big brown eyes looking back at him, as she hugged his left calf.

"Okay well, I ordered pizza."

"Pizza and juice." Rachel jumped

"Yeah." He said awkwardly as he took off his jacket.

"Carry" She more demanded than asked as she lifted her arms towards him.

_Seriously? _He thought, but reluctantly obliged. He carried Cuddy onto the bed a few times he could manage carrying a two-year-old. He popped her onto the couch and sat down next to her.

They both sat silently, House just tapping his cane on the floor and puffing out one cheek at a time as he thought of what to do. Rachel stood up onto the couch and was now the same height as him she started to crawl onto his shoulders.

"What're you doing?" He asked turning slightly to face her.

"I want to be big!" She said as she moved his head back to its original spot and struggled to get her legs on either side of his neck. Once Rachel managed to, somewhat, get on top of his shoulders House leaned back and to the side causing her to fall off and erupt into laughter only to start the whole process over again.

How the hell did she find this repetitive task so amusing? But he was glad she could be entertained by something so mundane.

Their silly game kept her occupied until the pizza came, when House got up and answered the door with Rachel following behind him closely.

He got the pizza and brought it to the living room and got a cup for himself and a cup for Rachel.

"Dinosaur!" She corrected, confusing House

"Huh?"

"Dinosaur!" She said and pointed the adjacent cabinet.

House opened the cabinet and found a blue and orange sippy cup that had dinosaurs on it.

"This?" He asked looking at is quizzically

Rachel nodded approvingly.

"Okay. Dinosaur cup it is." He said as he carried both the cups back to the living room

"Mommy doesn't like me eating dinner in front of the TV."

"I won't tell if you don't." He said as he turned on the TV

Rachel nodded happily and eagerly watched the show.

"Scooby Dooby!" She yelled.

House looked around and found the DVD box set they've been watching and put it in the DVD drive.

They watched the show and ate pizza.

"The janitor so did it."

"Nu UH!" Rachel said in disbelief with a mouthful of pizza, "the episode just started."

"He seems shady." House said causing Rachel to scrunch her face

At the end of the episode the janitor turned out to be the culprit causing Rachel to be amazed.

"How are you so smart?"

House just shrugged, but he was surprised that something so simply was impressive to her.

"I wanna be as smart as you."

"Well if you want to be as smart as me, you'll take a bath, you stink." He said as he took their cups to the kitchen

"Not as stinky as you!" She retorted.

"Good one." He said sarcastically.

Rachel followed him into the kitchen like a duckling to their mother. House turned to look at her confused, "seriously, go take a bath."

"You have to bathe me."

House thought for a moment, could two-year olds not bathe themselves? How did he not know that? He felt so stupid sometimes.

"Yeah but go get ready" he said motioning her away.

As soon as the sentence left his mouth Rachel was now standing naked in the kitchen leaving House speechless.

"Uh. Right. Okay let's go to the bathroom then" he said as awkwardly as she followed him

He bathed her, got her into a fresh pair of pajamas, and into bed.

"Story." Rachel said clapping as she cuddled with a ridiculously fluffy bunny stuffed animal

"Okay" House said as he looked through her book collection and pulled one out about dinosaurs, got in bed and began reading.

After the story she fell asleep on House's shoulder, he didn't know how to get up without disturbing her. He sighed and waited for Cuddy to come home.

[H]

As House limped into the office the next morning he understood why he traded drugs for this life, part of him didn't know why he couldn't have both, but he was happy to have Cuddy and Rachel in his life.

"House got a patient that is admitted to the ED." Chase said as he extended the file towards him.

House rolled his eyes, "and I though today was going to be easy. I just walked in."

"50 year old female presents with fever and collapses, no explanation."

House was bored to death until he read the name on the file, Cohen, Kimberly Ann. _Shit._


	5. Chapter 5

House stared at the file in shock, still not believing the name in front of him.

"House? We have several good ideas on the table here." Foreman said pulling House out of his trance.

House just nodded, "stress test and echo to confirm." He said as he went to his desk, he needed to think.

[H]

Kimmy awoke to her window being opened on a cool summer night in August 1976. It was House, who practically collapsed onto the bedroom floor with a thud letting out a small 'oof' sound as he made contact with the ground.

"Greg! What the hell?"

"I always wanted to climb through your window in the middle of the night. Your dad should lock those you know."

"He does, I unlocked them knowing that one night you'd live out your fantasy of breaking into my room."

"So kind." He said as he leaned over the bed to kiss her. As the two began removing each others clothes, Kimmy stopped, noticing something different on her lover.

"What's wrong?" House asked, huffing slightly and annoyed their make out session was cut short.

Kimmy turned on the light causing House to squint his eyes slightly, so she could look at his shirtless chest. She ran a delicate hand over the bruise forming on his abdomen. House put his hand over hers and slowly removed it from his body.

"Oh Greg." She whispered, "your dad is home again isn't he."

"It's nothing." He said shamefully.

"Nothing? It looks like your were in a bar fight! What happened?"

House sighed, getting in bed next to her, "my dad was annoyed I was still dating you."

Kimmy's eyes watered as she held him tighter. "Why doesn't he like me?" She asked innocently

"Because he's an asshole."

"So are you, and you like me just fine." She joked, getting House to give off a light chuckle.

"He just... He asked if I was gay because I'm dating a tomboy. He said you don't dress military professional, whatever the hell that means. He told me I was pathetic for falling in love with you and I told him to piss off." House looked down at his bruised body, "obviously that didn't go over too well."

"Stay here tonight." She pleaded.

House nodded, Kimmy always knew how to handle House. She made him feel safe, accepted and she even pretended to be the lonely desperate one so House didn't feel the need to ask for help.

He got in bed, and they made love, before they fell asleep in each others arms. They were young, but House wanted to stay with her forever in that moment.

[H]

Cuddy walked out of her prenatal exam, happy and excited to share the news with House. She knew her secret was safe, Dr. Holman was under strict orders that if he shared with anyone about her pregnancy he would be fired for violating HIPPA. She had the photographs of the sonogram ready and felt that House has adjusted enough to the changes to handle the news. As she walked past patient rooms and the nurses station, a conversation caught her attention between Taub and a nurse.

"Yeah, it was weird. House stared at the file in shock like he knew the patient but he didn't say anything."

"That is weird. Maybe she is an old girlfriend or something." The nurse suggested.

That was all Cuddy heard as she walked passed, she looked up House's patient and now she didn't feel much like sharing the news. She knew exactly who she was, the woman he lost his virginity to, and for some reason she felt angry and jealous. She went to Wilson's office instead, feeling the tears trying the escape her eyes.

As she entered the office she closed the door behind her, putting the Manila envelope in front of Wilson on his desk.

He looked up, "what's this?"

"House and I's future kid."

"Want me to look over the photos to double check that everything is ok?"

"No, the baby is healthy and developing normally." She sighed.

"Then why do you seem upset?"

"House's first girlfriend is his patient, he lost his virginity to her and I'm... jealous." She mumbled

"That's perfectly natural." Wilson assured, "you're pregnant, hormones are going crazy right now and House lost all his memories about a week ago, I don't blame you for feeling jealous."

"What if I'm jealous because I think he'll leave me for her."

"That's a silly idea but it isn't crazy. It's normal. I wouldn't worry about it, the only girlfriend House has ever mentioned to me was Stacy. I didn't even know he dated anyone else other than you two."

Cuddy smiled, Wilson knew how to help her but Cuddy was beginning to feel nauseous about how she is still not telling House about the pregnancy, but the moment seems ruined now. Before his accident, they got in a huge fight over lying and Cuddy and House agreed to not lie to each other anymore, about anything. She is such a hypocrite, but it wasn't the right time to spring this on him. He is still trying to figure out what his life has become and she just needed to find the right moment to tell him, when they are both calm.

Wilson went to House's office after Cuddy left his, to practically drag him to lunch. He wanted to make sure House was okay about this first girlfriend situation and make sure he understood how Cuddy was feeling.

"I can't believe I had to force you to join me for lunch."

"Not feeling crazy hungry." He said as he pushed the small tray of fries further down the line.

"You? Passing up a free meal? Normally you devour food like a lion. This patient must have you worked up, it's almost like... she's an ex girlfriend or something." He suggested casually, something House would normally see right through but he remained quiet, lost again in his own world.

[H]

"Good lord, you eat like an animal." Kimmy said as she pushed her unfinished fries towards House who was gobbling up food, like he hasn't eaten in months.

"I am an animal." He said, "we all are."

Kimmy rolled her eyes, "how was practice."

"Lacrosse was good, but it rained towards the ends so we had to end it early, and crew was really fun. I beat my record for my 800 meter row. I think we can beat Cornell this year!" He said excitedly as he finished off his milkshake.

"That's amazing, Greg!" She said excitedly, "want to come over to my dorm after we are done eating? Or I guess I should say when you are done eating."

House nodded eagerly

"I will never understand how someone can consume the same amount of food as a family of four and still be in great shape."

"The key is working out eight hours a day or more, every day." He said as he cleaned off his plate

"Yeah, I'd rather eat less than workout that much."

"To each their own. I love food too much."

"When you stop working out. You're going to get so fat if you keep up this diet!"

"I'll never stop working out." He said smiling.

"Thank god, I love your thighs. Never get rid of them."

[H]

"House?" Wilson said loud enough this

time to snap him back into reality

"Huh?"

"I said, do you still love this woman?"

"What woman?"

Wilson squinted his eyes, having a slightly annoyed look on his face at how oblivious House was being. "Your patient, obviously."

Before House could open his mouth up to answer his pager went off. "Damn" he mumbled "I have to go." He said as he stood up from the booth and made his way to his office.

"Fine, but you can't avoid me forever!" Wilson warned

[H]

"She crashed, practically fainted in Chase's arms." Masters said as House entered the differential room.

"It must be Alexander disease." Foreman argued

"That presents usually during childhood."

"Usually." Taub emphasized

"Wolfram syndrome could..."

As the team went over diagnosis, their voices faded into the background as House once again became consumed by his thoughts.

[H]

"Come on Greg!" Kimmy encouraged as she skipped towards the edge of a green field outside of town.

"We're going to get arrested." House warned as he jogged behind her

"For what?"

"For one, trespassing on private property." He said as they continued their journey.

"That's a warning at most."

"This must not be your first warning then." House said smiling.

"If one is going to break the rules, one must first learn the rules."

"Ah ha! The student becomes the teacher." House stayed happily.

She smiled back at him, "now come on use those sexy legs of yours and come over here." She encouraged as she laid the wolf covered blanket down on the grass overlooking the beautiful view of the city.

House happily obliged as he jogged to join her.

"Only you would have fun on an illegal date."

"I wanted to see this view!" She said as she got out the picnic basket and began setting up the meal.

"What's for dessert?" He asked sexually as he ran a soothing hand down her shoulder.

[H]

Chase entered Wilson's office after the differential with a look of concern.

"There is something wrong with House."

Wilson looked up from his work, not too surprised by the news.

"He just... he's quiet. He isn't talking and he's been thinking all day. I don't know what's wrong with him."

"He did just lose his memory, give him time. He'll come around." Wilson assures, but he'd be lying if he didn't admit that House's new behavior towards his ex-girlfriend was concerning to say the least, maybe Cuddy wasn't acting as irrationally as he first assumed.

[H]

House came home, after a long day greeted once again by Rachel. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to the impact of a toddler running full speed at him.

"I want to show you my drawings" she said as she made him come to her bedroom, not even giving him a chance to remove his jacket. Cuddy smiled, noticing Rachel's affections towards House from the kitchen. She really is Daddy's girl she thought.

Rachel shoved colorful picture after colorful picture in House's face. Each one was the exact same thing but with different colors, and somehow, worse than the one before.

"And this is my Easter Sunday dress mom bought me!" She said shoving into House's face, why did she have to shove everything in my face? He thought, it was like she thought he was blind.

He was now incredibly confused. Cuddy was Jewish, why were they celebrating Easter?

[H]

"Ready to go?" Kimmy asked emerging from the bedroom in her colorful sundress, "what? You're not even dressed." She said disappointingly. "I told you to get ready an hour ago!"

"I am ready! I have my Easter boxers on." He said smiling as he pulled down his jeans slightly to reveal the blue, pink, and yellow bunny underwear he had on.

Kimmy smiled, "I stand corrected, you are ready!" She said as she grabbed his hand and they walked to their favorite burger shack down the street from their apartment.

It was their Easter tradition. Kimmy would wear a sun dress, pretend to be annoyed at House for wearing jeans and a T-shirt, he'd show off his Easter boxers, and then they'd get food at the most informal place they could find. She didn't know when or why this tradition started but it just happened once and they never stopped.

[H]

Rachel pulled House away from his thoughts, "and this is my new Easter basket!" She said glowing, "I can't wait to spend my first Easter with you!"

"Me too!" Cuddy said smiling as she entered the bedroom startling House.

"Just wanted to let you know dinner is ready." She said as she exited.

"DINNER! MAC AND CHEESE!" Rachel screamed as she left the bedroom running with House walking behind.

Cuddy set up the table beautifully. Mac and cheese with a plate of meat, vegetables and fruit were laid out neatly.

House sat down at the table, "so why are Jews celebrating easter?"

"Remember? We said we'd alternate holidays? This year we are celebrating the holidays you grew up celebrating."

House looked at her with a funny look, "of course I don't remember."

"Right. I forgot." She said jokingly.

"That's no excuse." He smiled

"I want chocolate." Rachel said as she finished her plate of macaroni.

"Easter bunny will bring you some."

"Out his butt." Rachel laughed

"No in the eggs he brings." Cuddy corrected

"Eggs come out of butts." Rachel claimed

"Rachel, bunnies don't lay eggs." House said. This shattered her world.

"What? Where does he get the eggs?"

"Steals then from ducks." House shrugged.

"No. He hides plastic eggs around." Cuddy corrected not giving Rachel any ideas.

"So. Do all moms have eggs?"

"Technically." House said, hoping that would be answer enough for her.

"Can we go skiing for spring break?" Rachel asked, "Casey is going skiing for spring break and I want to try."

"We are going to the beach for spring break, remember?" Cuddy said as she served Rachel more fruit

"Oh yeah! Howse is going to swim with me!"

[H]

"Come on Kim!" House encouraged

"Are you high? This is a black."

"Double black." He corrected

"It's steep!"

"No shit. Come on it's fun."

"For you maybe."

House sighed, "There isn't another way down."

Kimmy started to cry.

"Shit don't cry, look do you want me to carry you?"

She nodded slightly

"Okay." He said softly as picked her up and she straddled his back, wrapping her arms around his neck as he went down the slope.

[H]

"You okay?" Cuddy asked, noticing House never answered Rachel's question.

"I'm sorry what? What was the question?" House asked

"Are you going to swim with me?" Rachel asked

"Oh. Yeah sure." He said uncertainly

The rest of dinner went by quietly, and Rachel gave House a big hug before she left with her mother to shower and go to bed.

House was resting in bed, playing his Monster Truck Jam game on his PSP when Cuddy walked in, causing him to look up slightly.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Cuddy asked annoyed

"Excuse me?"

"You've been quite all day and completely lost in your own world ever since you got your new patient."

He shrugged, "just been thinking about the case."

"Because you still love her?" She asked growing increasingly more frustrated

House put down his game and looked at her confused, "are you suggesting I am in love with my patient?"

Cuddy gave him a look that could only mean 'duh'

House scoffed, "Cuddy, I've never met the woman."

"Oh please! Do not lie to me I am in no mood." She said teetering on the verge of screaming

"I'm not lying, I don't know her!"

"Do you think I am that stupid? I saw the name House! I know it was the woman you lost your virginity to!"

"Same first and last name wrong middle. She just reminded me of her."

"Okay. So, she isn't your first girlfriend fine. But you obviously still love your first girlfriend since you can't stop thinking about her."

"Of course, I still love her."

"Then why the hell don't you leave me for her then if you love her so much?" Cuddy said through tears. She didn't know why she said it but she was hormonal and frustrated.

"She's dead Cuddy." House said, looking away.

Now Cuddy felt guilt surge through her body for getting so mad at him. It all made sense, why he was lost in his own world, he was remembering what he lost.

"House I'm... I'm so sorry." She said as she climbed into bed hugging him.

[H]

"Time of death 14:27"

House sat in the corner with his head in his hands, not caring that his hair was soaked with sweat, his hands were dirty and he was sitting in a pool of his lover's blood that stained the floor.

"House, I'm... I'm so sorry." A fellow resident said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Accidents happen, she just... was in the wrong place at the wrong time, you did everything you could."

House looked up at the mangled body presented in front of him, hardly recognizing her behind the trauma. Her blood began to soak through his scrubs, it happened so fast he hasn't even removed his goggles, mask, and gloves yet.

"Get the hell off me." He said as he practically threw his hand off his shoulder and stood up, heading to the locker room. As he removed his soiled scrub pants, he noticed her blood on the front of his torso as well, from leaning over to desperately redecorate her. The once funny Easter bunny boxers were now stained red. He ripped them off in a rage, not wanting to think about the happy memories he once had. He got in the shower and as the warm water enveloped him, he let go and cried.

[H]

"Hit and run." He said as he felt Cuddy squeezing him tighter. "I don't like to talk about it."

"Do you think about her?" She asked into his chest

"Not every day but sometimes, never since I've been with you, or I'd assume so at least. But not many people have her name, it just really... messed with me."

"If you need to be taken off the case I understand."

"No, I'm fine. I have you." He said as he brought her into a hug.

Cuddy smiled into his chest, "always."

I truly don't know how I feel about this chapter, so please review and give me feedback if you like it. I struggled a lot with how to handle the topic of House and Kimmy, and I wanted to show that House found love again but also Kimmy is another example of how it is hard for House to open up because he doesn't want to experience the pain of loss.


	6. Chapter 6

"House?" Cuddy asked sleepily as she felt the bed shift, "where're you going?"

"I have to pee. Go back to sleep" he lied.

Cuddy happily obliged and rolled over as House stood up and paced around the living room, hoping to relax his screaming muscle. Ever since the crash, his pain has had control over him. He slept on the couch some nights, falling asleep in front of the TV trying to take his mind off the pain, an activity that has concerned Cuddy more and more.

When Cuddy woke up for yoga, she sighed noticing the bed was empty again. She went to the living room with her mat and saw House snoring lightly on the couch, face down. His Halo game was playing softly in the background, stuck on the pause screen. She turned off his console and TV, then set up for her yoga routine. She has noticed he has been sleeping less hours on the bed each night, and she has been catching him snoozing in the living room or his office more and more. She was starting to worry that his leg pain was getting worse, forcing him to be up all night and only be able to sleep in short bursts. She feared the amnesia made him more dependent on pain pills than he truly needed to be.

[H]

House sighed as he looked at grotesquely thick file sitting on his desk waiting for him. "Oh, mother hell." He mumbled as he tossed his backpack onto his chair, the file had to be at least eighty pages long, this patient was clearly a hypochondriac and he was in no mood to dig through years of testing to find out what actually was wrong with them. After a few minutes of skimming he entered the differential room and then tossed the file onto the glass table where is landed with a loud thud, startling his team.

"Okay, new patient." He said as he popped some ibuprofen and began scribbling a list of symptoms onto the whiteboard. He then stopped and examined his work, "I should write smaller." He commented noting that he already used most of the whiteboard and wasn't even remotely close to the end of the complaints.

The team spat off idea after idea, after a while they had a good list of tests to run so House sent them on their way. He then went to his desk, and began the long reading of the file, to see if he missed anything.

[H]

"Hey, you had clinic duty scheduled." Cuddy said as she barged into his office. House was seated in his chair, hunched over, reading the file.

"Sorry, forgot, this case you gave me is a textbook." He said as he held up the file, proving that it was probably the thickest one he has ever gotten.

Cuddy chuckled slightly, "well, your case is more important than clinic duty, I guess, I didn't realize how much time it would take to comb through it."

House shrugged, "slow reader I guess" he said as he popped a pill and looked back down at the file.

Cuddy turned to leave but stopped halfway to the door.

"Is your leg hurting more?" She asked, almost randomly.

House looked up at her confused, "no more than normal. Why?"

"Well, I noticed since your accident, you've been sleeping less and pacing more. Also, your taking more pills than normal, I almost never see you take ibuprofen and lately you've downed a lot."

House shrugged, "it always hurts worse in the mornings."

"It's almost 1:00."

"I slept in today."

"I noticed. You fell asleep on the couch last night.

"I have a lot of new games to catch up on."

"Okay... well... let me know."

House nodded and Cuddy left. She was unconvinced that House wasn't in pain, something was up.

His leg had been hurting worse, but he has never been sober for this long before, or at least he can't remember being sober. He still can't figure out how he managed to get through the day on virtually no drugs and he has been popping ibuprofen like candy to keep the pain at bay until he can figure out what he did. Nothing helps, the only thing that he can think of that he did is he snuck Vicodin, but deep down he knew he didn't.

[H]

"Any fever?" He asked the clinic patient, annoyed that he was done reading the file and stuck here.

"No."

"Pain under the eyes?" He asked, as he rubbed his thigh and thumbed through the file, writing small notes.

"yes"

"You have a sinus infection, I'll write you a script." He said as he got up and left the room.

"For an antibiotic?"

"No. Those are a last resort, if you're not feeling better in a week, I'll give you some." He said as he left.

He approached the nurse's station and wrote a prescription for a decongestant, and left it and the file in the patient bin.

"Hey I was going to grab some lunch, want to come?" Wilson asked.

This was not a good sign, Wilson knew exactly where he was and invited him to lunch, this can only mean Cuddy got to him, telling him she's worried about House.

"not hungry.

"Come on. I'm buying."

"no thanks." He said as he headed to the elevator.

Wilson followed him, "you haven't eaten lunch for the past two days, and Cuddy said you've barely touched dinner."

"I eat big breakfasts." He lied, getting on the elevator.

"You always skip meals when your leg hurts, I noticed it since the crash that you've been in more pain than usual." Wilson said as he pushed the button to the fourth floor.

"I'm fine."

"House, maybe you should consider seeing Dr. Nolan, he really helped get your pain under control."

As the elevator doors opened, House and Wilson exited. "My leg is fine, hurts no more than a giant hole in a thigh muscle should hurt." He muttered. "Besides, you said I stopped seeing Nolan because he didn't help at all. I'm just going through a spasm, it'll go away." He assured

"A spasm that has lasted three weeks?" Wilson questioned

House shrugged as he fished a pill from the bottle and swallowed it dry as he walked to his office door.

Wilson stopped and grabbed his arm, forcing House to stop too, "woah. How much ibeprofin are you taking?" He asked concerned.

"I dunno. As much Vicodin as I took, I guess."

Wilson's eyes widened, "House, you never took that much before the crash, you never exceeded the dose."

"Well, if I don't exceed it my leg hurts to the point I can't function. Besides, that's all a recommended dose is, a _recommendation._" He emphasized

"Yeah, who cares what health professions deem safe or unsafe." Wilson said sarcastically, causing House to smile slightly at his joke."Listen. I really think you need to see Dr. Nolan, taking too much of that stuff can have very bad effects on your kidneys, your liver-"

House cut Wilson off, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to medical school too you know."

Wilson sighed, when House went into his office to discuss the case with his team, forcing the conversation to end.

[H]

"Okay. There are two plates of food in the fridge, all you have to do is heat it up when it's dinner time." Cuddy said to House who was on the couch mindlessly watching TV and eating popcorn. Part of her was jealous that he got to spend the night in his pajamas while see had to go to a lecture. "The event tonight doesn't allow phones, but I am keeping mine in case you need me. Don't call unless you absolutely have to."

House was enthralled in the newest episode of Scooby-Doo, not even looking at her.

"House! Are you even listening?"

"Yeah, feed and bathe the kid and don't call, got it." He said as he popped another pill.

Cuddy grimaced for him, knowing he had to be in pain to be taking this many pills.

As she waited for Wilson to arrive she made sure her outfit was still looking nice in the hallway mirror. "Okay, well Wilson is here. I'll be back late. I lobe you." She smiled as she made her way back to the sofa and kissed him.

"Did you just say lobe?"

"Yeah." She said, surprised she forgot that he wouldn't remember, "you said that to me on our first date, it just kind of stuck."

"Oh... Why?"

"I'll tell you the story later okay?"

"Okay, love you." He said casually.

"Bye." She said as she left the house and joined Wilson in the car.

"Shouldn't House be accompanying you?" Wilson asked, nonchalantly as Cuddy closed the car door.

"No, first of all he would die if he went to one of these, you know how he likes his nights off to be in his underwear and watch television. Second, Rachel needs a babysitter, and third, to be honest, I'm worried about his leg. He has been limping very heavily and clearly masking how much pain he is in, I feel like a night on his feet would be torture."

Wilson nodded in agreement, "good point. I talked to him earlier today, he denies that he's in an abnormal amount of pain."

"What were you expecting him to do? He never admits anything."

Wilson shrugged.

[H]

About an hour into the evening, Cuddy could feel her phone vibrating through her purse, and excused herself to the restroom, "House? Is Rachel okay? I told you to only call in case of an emergency!" Cuddy said into her phone, concerned House was calling.

"Mommy?" Rachel asked into the phone

"Rachel." Cuddy breathed a sigh of relief, "hi sweetie, Mommy is really busy so-"

"I'm hungry." Rachel complained

Cuddy looked at her watch, 7:30. House should have already bathed and fed her by now, "honey just ask House for some of the chicken nuggets and peas that are in the fridge."

"I asked, but he won't move. He's being lazy"

Cuddy sighed, annoyed that her lover picked TV over dinner, "tell House to stop watching TV and get some dinner."

"He's not watching TV."

Cuddy grew frustrated, she was busy and was dealing with something so trivial. "Just give House the phone."

"I can't."

Cuddy grew concerned, "Why not?"

"He won't take the phone."

"Where is he?"

"on the floor next to me." Rachel said calmly, completely oblivious to how serious this could be.

"How did he get on the floor?"

"I dunno, we was playing and stuff. He took the game too serious, he started screaming, at first it was funny then it got loud and now he's on the floor and he's not moving."

"Rachel, honey, this is very important, is he breathing?"

Cuddy's heart raced as she quickly exited the bathroom and grabbed Wilson away from his dinner. "It's House's leg." She whispered, with her hand over the mic of her phone, "you drive and call an ambulance now."

Wilson did as he was told, following Cuddy as they practically sprinted to the car.

"ummmmm… I think so. His chest is moving." Rachel said.

"Is he responding to his name?"

"HOWSE!" Cuddy heard Rachel yell.

"No, he's just moaning."

"What is he doing Rachel? Right now, what is he doing?" Cuddy asked as calmly as she could.

"He's just moaning, he won't move."

"What does he look like?"

"He's white, and he's covered in smelly throw up."

"What color is it?"

"Ummmmm, red brown."

Cuddy wanted Wilson to drive faster, but she knew he was going as fast as he could.

"Rachel, are his eyes open?"

"No."

"is he bleeding anywhere?"

"His mouth red."

Cuddy kept Rachel on the phone, consoling her until she could make it back home.

"Ambulance will be there in 10 minutes." Wilson said as he hung up the phone and skidded into the driveway.

Cuddy barged through her front door, as she ran to the living room, while Wilson pulled Rachel away from the scene, distracting her in her bedroom.

House was covered in bloody bile, he was in the fetal position and refused to move, just as Rachel said.

"House, are you okay?" Cuddy asked, as she checked his respirations and heart rate. His breathing was quick and shallow, but his heart rate was strong. She could tell his blood pressure was high and he needed oxygen.

"House what happened to your leg?" Cuddy practically screamed, but he didn't answer, he was too focused on the pain.

"House, I need to see your thigh, I'm going to roll you over." Cuddy stated calmly, but as soon as she tried adjusting House to a supine position, he screamed in pain, and forced himself back to the fetal position. She has never heard him make that sound in her life and it frightened her, it was a scream that someone would make if they were being murdered.

"Okay, okay." She soothed, "the ambulance is on the way." She said as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair, "just breath."

"What the hell happened?" Wilson asked, running towards the noise, with Rachel in his arms.

"He's just in pain. He's okay." Cuddy said, not wanting to scare Rachel more, who was already crying in Wilson's arms.

"Here. Give her to me." Cuddy said as she stood up, extending her arms and headed to her bedroom with her daughter. She was going to change out of her dress and into some sweatpants and one of House's T-shirts because she could tell it would be a long night at the hospital.

Wilson looked over House's body, there was nothing he could do until the ambulance came, it was surreal. He has never seen House in pain like this before, it was terrifying. Why the hell didn't he just tell him he was in so much pain? But he knew House was a master at hiding pain, and today was the first day Wilson has ever seen House give in. He looked at the bloody vomit that covered his friend and everything just clicked, it wasn't his leg that was the problem, it was his stomach. House was bleeding to death before their very eyes and he would need an OR.

Wilson snapped into action, "House! House! Stay awake. You lost a lot of blood, you need to stay awake ok?" He yelled as he pressed his palm into his right thigh, in order to keep his friend conscious.

The sounds of the sirens filled his heart with joy, as the paramedics entered the home. It took the two paramedics and Wilson to get a screaming House onto the gurney, he fought tooth and nail to remain on the wooden floor.

Cuddy emerged with Rachel and got in her car to go to the hospital. Wilson rode in the ambulance with his friend, calling Chase while they sped to Princeton Plainsboro.

"Hello?" Chase said into the phone, as he was reading over the ridiculously thick case file with the rest of the team.

"Who's the on call general surgeon tonight?" Wilson asked quickly.

"Uh, Hourani I think. Why?"

"Tell him he needs to be scrubbed in and ready to do an emergency surgery in 10 minutes."

"What's going on?"

Wilson ignored his question, "get blood too, House will need a transfusion stat. He's type AB-" and with that Wilson clicked the phone shut, which made Chase and the team quickly prepare for House's arrival.

The ambulance screeched into the bay, and the paramedics ran a fetal positioned House through the double doors, towards the OR.

"House, you're going into surgery, you're going to be okay." Wilson said, as he ran beside his friend.

"Tell Cuddy…" House took a deep breath, using all his strength to speak through the unbearable pain and oxygen mask, "I lobe her."

Wilson nodded as House was taken over by the surgical nurses who pushed him through the OR double doors, leaving everyone else behind.

Cuddy and Rachel ran up to the doors, to find Wilson just standing there.

"Did he go back?" She huffed, trying to catch her breath, hoping to see House before he left.

Wilson nodded, as he brought her into a hug, "he'll be okay. He'll be okay." He kept repeating softly.

[H]

After what seemed like hours, Dr. Hourani finally emerged from the OR. He was almost surprised to see people waiting for the news. He didn't think House had any friends besides Wilson and Cuddy, but his whole team was there, with Rachel, Wilson and Cuddy. Dr. Hourani cleared his throat, not expecting an audience of more than one.

"He's alive, but it was a close call. You got him here just in time. His stomach perforated due to an ulcer." He sighed as he took a seat across from Cuddy and Wilson, "he's okay, and back in the ICU, but he needs to stay there for a few days on IV fluids. He has a strict clear liquid diet and is on bed rest for two days. He will be in a lot of pain for the next week or so and I wouldn't have him eat regular foods for a month. Once he is off clear liquids, he will be on a soft food diet until the wound heals, then we can discuss a normal diet." He took a pause, the next bit of news is difficult to deliver, "he um… He can't take any ibuprofen. The ulcer was caused by excessive use of the drug. I can recommend some chronic pain specialists, but…" Dr. Hourani trailed off, leaving to House's friends to finish the sentence

"Can I see him?" Cuddy asked

"Yes, but he's not awake." He warned

Cuddy turned to Wilson who had Rachel sleeping in his lap, "can you watch Rachel at your house tonight? I want to be with House until he wakes up."

Wilson nodded, "of course."

Cuddy followed Dr. Hourani to House's room, and she slowly entered. She knew House was insane and self-destructive but she didn't think she'd be in the hospital this much with him. She grabbed his hand, which was still warm to the touch and squeezed it. She hated herself at this moment, he was here because of her. She told him to stay off drugs, Wilson enforced this rule by saying she would leave him if he slipped back into old habits. He was so scared of losing her, he'd rather be in pain and kill himself with ibuprofen than discuss other options. He still feels his pain is something he must handle alone, and that made her cry.

She stroked his hair, as her palm rested on his stubble. When she was dying, she thought Vicodin was House not being with her, that he chose the drugs for his own selfish needs, but now. Now she isn't sure what to feel.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever! My boyfriend proposed a few months back (hooray) and I have been dealing with work and wedding plans, in addition to that I truly didn't know what else to write. This story is written so the italics are what happened in the past and the normal font is what is currently happening, I hope you guys enjoy the update!

House was asleep, finally. Cuddy sighed as she looked at her lover sprawled across the bed. The covers were bundled at the bottom of the mattress, kicked there while he was in a fit of pain. Sweat stained his grey T-shirt, and vomit was still on his stubble. Cuddy ran a hand through his hair that was matted down from forcing his face into the pillow in order to not wake the floor with his cries of anguish. Cuddy then pulled the blankets over his body, covering the plaid blue pajama pants he wore.

Cuddy collapsed onto the chair noting the time, 5:30am. She let out another sigh, it took hours to get House to sleep, and with some luck he might stay asleep for at least an hour.

_House moaned loudly, shoving his face into the pillow, contorting his body to protect his newly perforated injury. "Make it stop" he rasped._

_It broke Cuddy's heart seeing House like this, the knowledge that this was all her fault made her nauseous. _

"_I'll order you some pain meds" She soothed stroking the back of his head and went to the direction nurses station. _

"_No." House mumbled as he grabbed her hand to stop her._

"_House, you're in agony."_

"_I can't lose you. I can't." He rasped_

_Cuddy felt her eyes water, "oh House." Cuddy whispered as she ran a soothing hand through his hair, "you won't lose me."_

"_The… drugs. I'll lose you if I take the drugs." He said his breath becoming more and more shaky._

"_No." Cuddy said firmly, "I should have never put you in this position. Being in the hospital… this is all my fault." _

"_I'm fine." He said tiredly, his body no longer able to focus on anything other than the pain. _

_Cuddy sighed, she knew this was not the time to be discussing such a serious issue in their relationship. "Tell me if you change your mind. I'm not going anywhere." She soothed._

_House didn't respond, his rapid breathing slowed, his body simply could not maintain the rapid breathing nor could he stay awake any longer. _

[H]

House awoke in the all too familiar drug induced haze. He looked around the room slightly, Cuddy was sound asleep in the chair next to him and memories of last night reminded him of how weak he is.

[H]

_Cuddy closed the door to leave for the dinner. House stayed on the couch eating popcorn and watching TV when Rachel came into his peripheral vision. House turned to look at her after a few minutes of her standing there._

"_Can I help you?" He muttered._

"_Wanna play?" _

_House sighed and moved the popcorn onto the table as he sat up. Rachel excitably took the opportunity to sit on House's lap as soon as the popcorn was placed on the table. She climbed onto the couch and swung her legs around, her foot coming dangerously close to his groin, as she turned to sit down. House's leg screamed at him with the added weight, but he didn't want to ruin Rachel's evening. _

"_What do you want to play?"_

_Rachel shrugged, "I don't know." She giggled_

"_You don't know?" House mocked and began to tickle her. _

_Rachel squirmed against House's body as she erupted into laughter. _

_House regretted the decision of having a squirming, screaming, toddler on his lap but couldn't bring himself to stop her fun. They soon wound up onto the floor together as House continued to tickle her._

"_STOWP!" Rachel screamed through tearful laughter, "I'm gonna pee!"_

_House didn't want to change a dirty diaper so he stopped and let out a chuckle seeing Rachel's reddened face. _

"_Are you ticklish?" Rachel asked as she tried shoving a hand into House's armpit _

"_No" He said letting out a few laughs trying desperately to hide the fact that he is very ticklish. _

_House eventually succumbed to the laughter, falling onto his back onto the floor. Rachel remained on his abdomen as she continued to tickle him. House couldn't help but laugh and let out a cough._

_That was the beginning of the end. The contraction of his abdominal muscles caused an increased pressure to build inside, his stomach simply could not hold together anymore, the ulcer he had developed burst causing stomach acid and popcorn to pour into his interstitial space. _

_A blood curtailing scream left his mouth, and he instinctively rolled into the fetal position forcing Rachel on the floor next to him. She thought House was being funny, so she continued to laugh thinking it was still a game. After a bit of him not moving she got bored._

"_I'm going to play ponies" she said as she got up and went to her bedroom to play with her toys._

_House was now alone, the supposed adult in charge could not move a muscle without being in agony. His body was bleeding internally, and all he knew was the blood had to come out. Powerful convulsions surged through his abdomen, forcing emesis up his esophagus. He vomited onto the floor where it made a splat sound as it connected with the wooden surface._

_It was the first time in his life he threw up without moving. With the muscle contraction of emptying his stomach came a surge of pain that only intensified the nausea, but this time it was bloody sputum that came out._

_He felt like he would die here on the floor. He knew logically what to do, that cowering in the fetal position would not help the pain. He needed to relax his muscles to feel any relief but his animal instincts refused to comply. _

_After a while of playing, Rachel's stomach growled, she wanted dinner._

"_Howse!" She yelled, "when is dinner ready?" She asked_

_The silent response made her frustrated with him, she walked into the living room and was annoyed to see him in the same position she left him in. _

"_Howse." She said as she shook his shoulder lightly._

_The light shake sent House into yet another fit of pain causing him to gag. _

_He felt Rachel's tiny hand dive into his back pocket, then into the front pocket as she looked for his phone. When her fingers came into contact with the hard plastic she gripped it tightly and pulled it out. She dialed the number her mother made her memorize and waited for Cuddy to pick up, she wanted food and House was taking this game too seriously._

[H]

House rubbed his eyes as he stirred he felt strangely well all things considered. He took it as a well needed rest.

"morning Cuddles." House yawned

"morning. How're you feeling?"

"like shit. When can I be discharged?"

"easy there. Do you not remember last night?"

"I remember being in a little pain-"

"a little?" Cuddy chuckled with disbelief, "You looked like you were dying. You threw up, your blood pressure skyrocketed, I thought you were going into shock."

"Well I feel good now."

"That's because I gave you Buprenorphine."

House looked up in shock, "You what?!"

Cuddy was shocked by his anger, "you were in pain, I-"

"You made a decision for me, while I was asleep. Last time a girlfriend did that it didn't end well."

"You're going to break up with me because I stopped your pain."

"No. You're going to break up with _me_ because I'm now on drugs."

"I wouldn't have given them to you if I was just going to leave you for taking them."

"Sure, not today, what about five years from now? What about ten years from now?"

"Less chance of addiction, pain relief and no high like the Vicodin gave you."

"Exactly why I'm upset!" House emphasized, "_Less _chance of addiction, in case you'd forgotten that is still a chance."

"I was trying to help you why are you making this such a big deal?"

"Because you're the one who made it a big deal first!" House yelled angrily, "if you didn't care that I was on drugs then why did you break up with me when I relapsed?"

Cuddy looked shocked at him, "who told…"

"Doesn't matter who told me, all that matters is that you could break up with me again."

"You can't accept that maybe I was overreacting a little when I made that decision? Or that maybe I was wrong and felt guilty about forcing you to be in pain?"

House sighed, "you never forced me to be in pain. You gave me a choice, being in less physical pain, or being happy with you. I chose you. I chose being happy with you."

The sentence took the breath away from Cuddy who felt that the only appropriate response was to say nothing and have his words envelop her. Somehow he managed to make her feel guilty no matter what choice she made.

"The pain… It'll kill you. The drugs wont. I was wrong House." Cuddy said as she went towards him and sat on the edge of the bed. "I was wrong, I'm not leaving you for the drugs, ever."

"What if I decide the Buprenorphine isn't enough? What if I go back to Vicodin?"

"That is a decision we will make together."

House nodded as he pulled Cuddy in closer to him. His anxieties about their future are still very much alive, but he knew Cuddy did not have any, and that oddly helped.

[H]

House was in the kitchen in an old grey sweatshirt and Hockey pajama pants reading the box of Eggos intensely, while Rachel swung her legs under her chair waiting patiently for breakfast.

"screw this." House muttered not wanting to wait the time to cook two waffles at a time.

He turned on all four burners of the electric stove to high heat and started placing frozen waffles right on the stove.

Cuddy walked into the kitchen, her hands still fumbling to put her earrings in.

"This is exactly why I should be taking care of you." Cuddy joked

House gave her a flash of a look, then turned back to his concoction.

"If only there was an appliance we owned designed to cook waffles." Cuddy smiled eyeing the toaster.

"Toaster is just too slow."

"Thank god you're here to set a wonderful example of the value of patience."

"I have a lot of patients." House defended.

Cuddy raised an eyebrow.

"I just don't have any right now since I'm on medical leave, but I am sure I will have a few cases when I get back."

Cuddy hated herself for laughing at his corny jokes.

"get it while it's hot!" House shouted grabbing a waffle off the burner with his bare hands, tossing it between his palms to avoid burning as he threw it on Rachel's plate.

Cuddy shook her head as she left the kitchen, "I'll be home at five, please don't burn down the house in a freak waffle accident."

"No promises." House yelled from the kitchen.

As Cuddy looked up from packing her purse by the door, she saw House hurling waffles at the table towards her daughter who was screaming with joy at the raining food, she smiled.

_He is back_. She thought, _he is finally back_.


	8. Chapter 8

"Shit." House mumbled looking at the results in front of him, his flashy sneakers resting comfortably on his desk.

"Well, I guess it's something else then. Ideas?" He asked as he tossed the sheet of paper on the desk.

The room was silent. House rolled his eyes in a dramatic gesture, "don't make me ask again."

"We're not stalling we just don't know. Nothing explains this." Forman defended

"Obviously something has to, what do we know?"

"She's female..." Chase started off cautiously not knowing how basic to go.

House nodded as his pager went off. He checked who paged him and sighed.

"Keep discussing what we know, I'll be back in ten." House said as he grabbed his cane that was resting on the edge of the desk then walked out of the room.

[H]

House made his way to Cuddy's office; the blinds were drawn and he took a deep breath before entering. Years of conditioning taught him that he was going to be yelled at as soon as he stepped foot in that room. What he saw though, he was not expecting. Cuddy was in her office, crying, into her hands. She was hunched over and the box of nearly empty tissues showed that she had been upset for a while.

House quietly stepped over to Cuddy where he stood next to her, towering above her in the chair. He placed a gentle hand on her back and she immediately turned into him clutching his waist, sobbing into his leg.

House was dumbfounded, Cuddy is such a strong woman, he could count how many times he has seen her cry on one hand, but they were always just tears, never like this.

He could feel her grip tighten around him and the tears beginning to soak through his jeans, he honestly didn't know what to do other than just stay still and wait.

"I lost the baby." She mumbled almost inaudibly into his leg.

"Rachel is missing?" House almost screamed as panic surged through his body.

Cuddy pulled away realizing she never told him about the pregnancy.

"No. I miscarried."

"You're… pregnant?" House repeated raising an eyebrow.

"Not anymore." Cuddy said with an ironic chuckle, then the tears began to come back.

"Woah, wait. So, what happened? How far along were you?"

"Shut up." Cuddy said annoyed, she knew he was trying to help, she knew he was trying to process both the fact that he just found out he is going to be a father and his future child is dead at the same time, but she couldn't help it. She was both mad at him and needed him at the same time.

House did what he was told and didn't say a word. He just stood there letting Cuddy cry into his leg as he rubbed her back for what seemed like hours.

His pager went off first, something House quickly shut off and ignored. Then the phone calls began to come through, as his team desperately tried to reach him. House shut the phone off and continued to simply stand there with Cuddy crying into him, not saying a word.

After a few minutes, there was a light knock on the door that caused House's heart to jump. He didn't want to leave Cuddy but he also did not want his team to discover this scene.

"House?" A small voice said, it was Masters.

"I'm busy." He said only turning his head toward the door, not removing his hand from Cuddy.

"Well, it's been half an hour, we discussed what we knew…"

"Discuss ideas with Forman and let him make the call. I'll be back in the office as soon as I can."

Masters nodded and left. Something was wrong, House was never one to pass a case off especially one as medically puzzling as this one. She knew he wasn't in trouble, he actually was very well behaved on this case and didn't do anything reckless. There was no reason why Cuddy would need to see him unless something was really wrong.

Cuddy sniffled and finally removed herself from his leg, leaving a puddle of sadness on his jeans.

"I'm sorry" She muttered, keeping her head down as she saw the stain on his left thigh.

"It's no big deal, at least it isn't pee."

Cuddy chucked, causing House to smile. It made him feel good when he could make her laugh even when she is this upset.

"You okay?" House asked. He didn't know why he said it, she obviously wasn't but this was not his area of expertise.

Cuddy shook her head no, "but I am glad I have you. Thank you for not going back to your case."

House nodded, "it's a dumb case anyway." He lied, "my stupid boss forced me to take it." He said trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't know why I thought I could carry the child. I'm old."

"I'm older." House defended, "it's not your fault. Besides we already have a kid."

Cuddy nodded, "I know but don't you think it'd be nice to have another?"

"No."

Cuddy glared at him, "so you're happy I miscarried."

"No. I just-"

Cuddy held up her hand, "I'm an idiot. You didn't want the baby, you never wanted the baby!"

"No! I just was trying to say our family is perfect, whether we have another kid or not it doesn't matter I'm happy."

"Get out." Cuddy said coldly.

"Cuddy, I-"

"Leave!" Cuddy said as she shoved him lightly, causing him to step back.

House stood there for a few seconds, not entirely sure what to do. The five years he was with Stacey he learned to never take a woman's commands literally when they were upset. Sometimes they'd yell at you to leave and then get mad you left and other times they'd tell you to leave and get mad that you stayed. He had a 50/50 shot and did not want to pick the wrong one.

House decided to stay, he moved to the opposite corner and sat in her chair.

Although Cuddy a few minutes ago was very clear about him leaving, she was glad he stayed. Even though he didn't say anything and she could only see him if she looked up, she was happy to feel his presence. To know that he would stick with her even when she was being this way.

House sat there for almost an hour, not moving, not talking just sitting. His pager went off three times. Every time he shut it off without even looking at it.

"you should go. They need you." Cuddy said breaking the silence.

"you need me more." House defended.

Cuddy patted the couch inviting him over to sit next to her.

House stood slowly and made his way to her sitting next to her and resting his feet on her coffee table.

Cuddy rested on the couch and put her head on his shoulder leaning into him, tears rolling down her face softly.

House adjusted moving his hand down her back slowly caressing her.

"I shouldn't be keeping you from your job, it's pretty unprofessional."

House shrugged casually, "I'm on lunch."

"For almost two hours?"

"I'm a slow eater."

Cuddy chuckled, "thank you for staying."

House nodded. "anytime."

"But I think it is time for you to leave, for real this time. I have kept you for long enough."

House stood up and turned to face his girlfriend still laying on the couch.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"As long as I have you I am."

House nodded and kissed her on the forehead, "always." He smiled, "I'll be late tonight but call me if you need me."

"I will." Cuddy said as she watched him turn to leave.

[H]

House entered his office, looking over the whiteboard and all the work that his team has done since he was gone.

His team entered and exited his office multiple times throughout the day and night as they discussed results, and left to run tests. House became oblivious to the outside world and was startled when Wilson entered his office.

"I just heard what happened. Are you okay?"

House raised an eyebrow, "I'm as happy as a pig in poop. Which I am assuming is the right answer of course I'll know more once I find out what you're talking about."

Wilson raised his eyebrows in shock, "The miscarriage."

"oh. Yeah I'm fine, you should really be talking to Cuddy she is the one who is upset."

"And you don't feel anything?"

"I didn't even know she was pregnant until about…" House checked his watch, "six hours ago. Why would I be upset?"

"Because…" Wilson shrugged in disbelief, leaving House to finish his sentence for him.

There was a long silence between the two men until Wilson finally said, "I think you should go home."

"My work isn't done here."

"Is it impossible to deal with your team by phone?"

House stared quietly then turned back to the board.

"Cuddy needs you to support her right now, I think you should go home."

"I do support her!" House said defensively, "I was in her office, for hours, consoling her. Don't tell me I'm not supporting her!"

"Being with her just once is not enough to support her."

House stared off in the distance, getting that look in his eyes that Wilson knew all too well, "you're right, doing it just once isn't enough." He mumbled as he barged out of the office, racing down the hall.

Wilson sighed and shook his head as he was left alone in the empty office.

[H]

House pulled up into his driveway late, as he quietly entered his house and tried hard not to wake anyone.

He saw a glow coming from the living room and peered in to see Rachel asleep on the couch with Brownbeard playing on a loop, cuddling tightly with her stuffed bunny.

House quietly entered the room leaving his cane leaning against the couch as he went to turn off the TV and scooped Rachel and her bunny up in his arms. He carried her to her bed and tucked her in.

House collapsed onto the bed next to Cuddy, not even bothering to remove his jeans, and he rested his eyes. He thought about what Wilson said. This loss didn't bother him in the slightest, but maybe it bothers the old him, the him he can't remember.

House turned and looked at Cuddy sleeping and put his hand on her back, as he too succumbed to sleep.

[H]

Cuddy awoke to an empty bed and looked at the clock. Panic overcame her as her clock read 8:13. She jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom to get ready, slamming into House's chest.

"House what the hell? Why didn't you wake me?"

"You're sick." He smiled, "I called the hospital and gave us the day off."

"House I can't just take the day off! I have budget meetings, board meetings, meetings with our donors, don't you have a case?" Cuddy went on

House put a finger over her lips silencing her, "I called in a favor. The meetings are taken care of, cured the patient last night. You don't need to do anything except relax here with me all day."

Cuddy couldn't help but smile as stood on her tip toes and kissed him. House picked her up slightly off the ground and carried her as he moved towards the shower attempting to turn the faucet without looking. House laughed into Cuddy's lips at his poor attempts to turn on the water.

They soon were in the shower with no water and fully clothed as they passionately kissed, bumping into all the walls of shower. Cuddy's back hit the faucet and she moved her arms around turning the dial to the hottest setting not leaving House's lips. Soon they were soaked in the shower too focused on themselves to care. House began undressing Cuddy, starting with her blue tank top then moving down to her panties and sleeping shorts. Cuddy pulled House's shirt off and slid her hands down until she found the button of his jeans. She slowly removed his pants and he kicked them off once they reached the floor.

As House moved his hand down, gently pressing his fingers against her entrance, she stopped him.

"Not yet." She said cautiously

House nodded against her lips and moved his hands back up to her shoulders and just held her under the pouring shower water, swaying slightly.

"okay." He whispered to her as he just held her tight, "okay."


End file.
